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Series: Naruto
couple: Naruto and Sasuke, ItaSai/ItaSaku(sort of)
Warnings: violence, mention of rape, shounen-ai, love, the later chapters will contain yaoi
PG-13/NC-17
Chapters: 7. The story is now FINISHED

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and Sasuke, if I would, Naruto and Sasuke would screw like rabbits ^^

 

Authors Note: This fic was written before the time Sasuke left Orochimaru so everything is now AU or a view of how things could have happened. I tried to make everything seem like it could really happen but of course I couldn’t guess the right way things went. I hope everyone will enjoy this story despite that ^_^

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Chapter 1: Losing

He stared down to the village with a solemn face, his black hair whipping against his pale face. He could see the people swarming around the village and the empty, dead Uchiha estate looming in the horizon. Konoha had just woken up from another restful night and the people were opening their boutiques and shops and getting on with their happy lives. Ninjas were hurrying to work and children were running to school.

He felt separated from all of it. He couldn’t imagine belonging to this normal life anymore. He was too dark, too lost in his past to live like everyone else and to move on. He couldn’t remember happiness anymore, all he dreamed about was the revenge. That was his destiny, everything else was irrelevant. His black eyes blurred and he couldn’t see anything anymore.

He cast a last glance at his former home village and turned his back, swearing never to look back. This part of his life was now closed for good. No matter how much he missed some of it, no matter how his heart ached when he remembered a certain blond’s bright smile and gleaming, blue eyes and that positive attitude that no matter what situation, always cheered him up. He wouldn’t ruin that innocence.

He would never see them again. He would never… see them again.
He walked away, his black clothes soon hiding him into the dark forest efficiently.

~*~*~

Sakura wiped the sweat from her forehead and leaned her back against the tree. She was breathing hard and sipped another gulp of water from her canister. They had been running non-stop the whole day and she was tired and very happy to be back in Konoha. Only a little more time and she could go home and take a long, hot bath. Smiling she opened her vest, getting ready to move the last few miles.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a shuffling sound from above. She frowned and looked up, still wondering what was Sai’s problem today. The man had been acting weird all day. Though being Sai was weird on its own accord. She tossed her ANBU mask to the ground next to her backpack and called him.

Sai landed close to her, looking somewhat nervous.
“What is wrong with you?” She asked, tying her pink hair up and glaring at him as Sai removed his mask and looked around.

“Nothing.” He said motionlessly and walked away. Sakura sighed. She had tried to befriend Sai for years now, but he was sometimes making it very difficult to keep up their friendship with his distant and strange behaviour.
She had finally settled her friendship with Naruto, who was now like a little (though a lot taller) brother for her, but Sai kept on pushing them away, never being able to get close to anyone.

Sakura sighed, walking after him, calling his name softly again. Before she could reach him, she felt a sudden pain shoot trough her left side and groaned, gripping her side and finding the white fabric tainted with bright red, warm blood. She stared at her hand in shock as her eyes began to go blurry.

“Sai?” She asked with a faint voice as she saw the emotionless man approaching her slowly. She stepped back but it was too late, she could feel how the world was turning quickly around. She could see two Akatsuki cloaked figured looming over them on a hill not so far away and how Sai gave them a sign. The men ran closer to them and she tried to move again, finding herself lying on the ground unable to move a muscle. The last thought that came to his head was “He betrayed me.”

Then everything went black.

~*~*~

Naruto groaned. His head hurt from all the talking and thinking. He hated this part of his job. The meetings; they never ended. Tsunade knocked her fist on his blond head and made him glare at her.
“Pay attention Naruto” She whispered and pointed at Gaara who was still talking with his monotonous voice about the desert mission they had been on a month ago.

Gah, he knew what the kazekage was going to say, he had been there. Why did he have to listen to it all over again? He could be eating ramen instead of sitting in this stuffy room, listening to damn diplomats talking and talking and talking about boring stuff that had nothing to do with Konoha or him.

Ramen. His mouth was watering and he realized he was almost drooling. Unnoticed he swept his mouth on his sleeve and buried his face into his hands, softly stroking his thumb against the whisker marks on his face like his custom was. Only a few more hours, he could handle that. Maybe.

Suddenly the door of the meeting hall was slammed open and an ANBU ran into the room and straight at him.
“We have a problem. Sakura…”
Naruto was on his feet before the ninja could finish. “Where and what happened?” Everyone in the room had gone silent, but Tsunade was already giving an apology and taking care of the things he could not take care right now. Naruto quickly glanced back and flashed a relieved smile to Tsunade, who waved her hand. Then he was dragging the ninja out of the room.

He pulled off his cloak and ran towards his office to get his ninja uniform. The ANBU followed.
“They were coming back. We found her mask and blood. No sign of Sai either.”
“Damn it! Sai has been acting weird for some time now. I told Sakura to be careful with him, I told she shouldn’t do assignments with him but she insisted. I never thought he would… Blood?”
“Yes. Kakashi and a few teams are already searching for them, but so far, no luck.”
“When did you find the mask?”
“A few hours ago.”

“A few hours? Why didn’t you get me earlier?!”
“We thought we could catch them, but we found no trace. And you had that important meeting with the diplomats from Sunakagure.”
“Sakura’s like a sister to me. You should have come sooner.” He yelled as he pushed open his office door, reaching for his vest and forehead protector behind it, slamming the door on the ANBU’s face in the process.

The man groaned, holding his nose as Naruto opened the door again, ignoring the glaring ANBU and stepped back to the hallway, ready to go.
“Take me there.”
The man turned around without a word, found the nearest window on the hallway and jumping out, ran towards the forest. Naruto followed one step behind.

In a few moments they reached the place where the ninja’s had found Sakura’s mask and the blood. Shikamaru was staring at the ground where the pool of blood had been absorbed into the ground. He lifted his head as he heard them coming and nodded his hello to Naruto. Naruto nodded back, kneeling next to him.

“It was Itachi.” Shikamaru whispered as the other ninja moved away to guard them from a small distance. Naruto’s eyes widened and then he growled.
He grimaced, showing visible fangs. Itachi had made visits to the village a few times a year, always trying to get to Naruto. But he never could, so he had now found a new way to get him? Naruto squeezed his hands into fists and stared at the blood, smelling it clearly with his kyuubi senses. It was obviously Sakura’s. He could not sense Sai at all.

“How do you know it was Itachi?”
Shikamaru handed him a scroll.
“We found this a few miles away. All traces disappeared after that.”
Naruto opened the scroll hastily, noticing the small Akatsuki symbol on the paper. The note was short and blunt.

Uzumaki Naruto
We have Sai and Sakura.
You will get them back when you give yourself to us.

Itachi Uchiha

Naruto roared and tossed the scroll against a tree. “The hell I will do anything they want!” He turned around and paced to the tree, picking the scroll back up. “Has Kakashi’s dogs tried to get a sense from this? We need to find them!”
“He tried, but the dogs couldn’t find anything after the scroll was found.”
“Damn, damn, damn!” Naruto grimaced and walked back to Shikamaru, handing him the scroll.

“Then will you help me to look for them?” He looked serious and worn out. He was worried about his friend. When it was about Itachi, the news were never good, they had to find them soon. Shikamaru nodded and stood up, putting his hand on Naruto’s shoulder. “Of course.”

~*~*~

Sakura woke up feeling very uncomfortable. Her mouth was tied so she couldn’t let out a sound. She tried to squirm up from the cold stone floor only to find out that her hands were tied up behind her back tightly and his legs were chained together. The wound on her side had been stitched, but it still pulsed with pain.
She shivered from the cold and tried to curl up, looking around the small cell. There was a wooden door close to where she was laying and she could see light shining from under it. The cell was dark, only a small window at the top of the wall let a gloomy light into the small room.

Cold air blew from under the door and made her shiver. Then she heard footsteps and turned so she was facing the door. Soon she could hear a key turn in the lock and the door was pushed open. She could see a tall, dark form standing on the doorway, but the light behind him made it impossible to see who it was.

She let out an irritated sound and the form kneeled next to her. She stared at his face which she still couldn’t see, but soon another form on the doorway caught her attention. Sai! It was obviously Sai. She would recognize that haircut and thin frame anywhere. Sai was wearing his usual clothes and stared away with cold eyes. She could see his profile clearly as he glanced quickly at her with his black eyes.

Suddenly she startled as the other man laughed coldly. She moved her eyes to stare at him and found red sharingan staring back. She felt a cold chill run down her back and whimpered, trying to move away as the man reached for her chin. She shook as the firm hand lifted her face.
“Sakura. You’re all grown up.” The man chuckled. Sai turned his back at her. She felt like crying but stared coldly into the red eyes. She would not show her fear!

Finally the man moved again, reaching his other hand to open the tie on her mouth. She moved away as soon as she could, breathing heavily now that she could finally breathe trough her mouth. The man didn’t let her get any farther away, but lifted her to sit, pulling from her pink hair. Sakura shrieked from the pain.

“Let me go!” She whispered and saw Sai’s back flinch and then his team mate walked away. The man in front of her just chuckled and stroked her cheek.
“No.” He said with his low voice. Sakura stared straight into his glowing, red eyes.
“Itachi, what do you want from me?”

~*~*~

Naruto jumped from tree to tree, feeling the wind whip him. It was a good thing it did, because it dried his tears efficiently. He had promised himself he would not cry. He would find Sakura and Sai and they would be just fine.

But that had been hours ago. The forest was already darkening and the hope of finding them was getting smaller and smaller. Naruto refused to give up even when he could hear all the ninja’s around him grumble unhappily about the long chase. But how could he give up?

Shikamaru reached him and soon Kakashi was running next to him too. He glanced at the men and saw their gloomy faces. He slowed his pace when he heard Kakashi call his name softly.
“Naruto, they are gone.”
He stopped and fell to the ground. His legs shook and felt like jelly as he tried to calm down, taking long breaths.

“I can’t give up. He took them because of me!” He yelled angrily up at Kakashi who was standing on a tree branch over his head. The older ninja looked at him for a long time and finally jumped down. Naruto stared at him with painful eyes, shaking his head.
“I can’t, I just can’t.” He repeated, gripping the soil into his fists. Shikamaru walked behind him and kneeled to the ground, nipping the grass like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Kakashi kneeled in front of Naruto and cocked his head.
“Naruto, you know you won’t find them tonight.”
“But I can’t give up!” he cried back. Kakashi reached for him and pulled him closer, hugging him tightly. Naruto tried to push him away and hit him on the back, but Kakashi just tightened his grip. Soon the young man fell limp and shook like a leaf as the fear and pain gripped him painfully. He cried out.
“I can’t loose them too!”

Kakashi rocked him back and forth, calming him down. The other ninjas stayed respectfully away, Shikamaru sat behind Naruto silently. Finally Naruto seemed to calm down and pushed away from Kakashi, wiping his nose onto his sleeve. His stomach grumbled and he realized he had not eaten since the morning.

Kakashi stood up and offered his hand.
“Let’s go back home. I’m sure Iruka is waiting with food already.”
“I want ramen” Naruto mumbled as he took Kakashi’s hand and got up just as Shikamaru stood behind him. Kakashi padded the boys’s backs and they started to slowly make their way back to the village.

~*~*~

Sakura stared blankly outside trough the small window to the cold morning. She heard birds singing, but the sound felt so distant that it could be coming from another world. She felt numb and empty. She shivered and folded her arms tighter around her body, not able to make herself feel any warmer.

She wanted to cry, but it felt like an impossible thing to do after everything. Besides, if Itachi would come back and notice she had cried. No, she wouldn’t give him that pleasure.
She felt dirty and tired, but couldn’t sleep. It was too cold and the floor was too hard.

She snapped out of her thoughts and backed into a corner as her cell door was suddenly opened.

Sai stood there, looking at her with guilty eyes.
Sakura wanted to yell, to beat him up, to kill him. But she just stared back. Sai stepped in, offering her a black cloak with Akatsuki patterns on it. Sakura stared at it.

“You must be cold.” He whispered softly, dropping the cloak on Sakura’s lap and stepping away.
“And you care?” She snorted, but quickly folded the cloak on her shoulders anyway. Sai looked away.
“I’m sorry.”
Sakura stared at him coldly. This was too much. His team mate- his friend had stood outside the door while Itachi had done horrible things at her and now he was sorry?

Sakura lunged herself on Sai and screamed loudly as her fist hit skin. Sai flew out from the cell and stumbled against strong, rough hands. Itachi made sure Sai was not going to fall and then let go. The younger man glanced at him and then moved away as Itachi’s gaze turned to Sakura, who was standing on the doorway of her cell.

She stepped back with fear in her eyes as Itachi moved closer to her. She shook hear head “No- No…” Itachi stopped and stared at her. Then he flung the door closed and she was alone again. She could hear Itachi’s low voice say something and then footsteps moved away.
She fell to her knees, sobbing helplessly.

Tiredly she reached for the Akatsuki cloak and pulled it over herself. It was warm but it also smelled strongly of Itachi and made her feel sick.

~*~*~

Naruto was fiddling with his forehead protector in Kakashi’s and Iruka’s living room. He had stayed the night there so he wouldn’t be alone and he knew that nobody would disturb him today with official business. Everyone already knew what had happened.

He was desperate. He couldn’t bear the thought of what Sakura and Sai must be going trough right now. Because of him, because of the damned Kyuubi. How many lives would it still destroy?
He hung his head and sighed. He was loosing everyone who mattered something to him. His parents who he had never known, then Sasuke had left him. That had left scars that would never heal. And now Sakura, who was like a sister to him. He couldn’t take anymore. When would the pain stop?

He mussed his messy blond hair and leaned to the back of the big sofa. He heard Iruka approaching and soon the sofa moved as the man sat next to him. He smoothed Naruto’s hair but stayed quiet. Nobody seemed to know what to say to him.
“I made some tea.” Iruka finally whispered, petting him soothingly. He heard Kakashi moving in the kitchen and then the silver haired man appeared with a trey of teacups.

He lowered it to the table and set the cups in front of them. Naruto sat up and rubbed at his eyes. His face was puffy from crying and his eyes swollen and red. He sighed and nodded as thanks when Kakashi offered him a cup. The ninja sat next to Iruka, holding his hand casually around his shoulder as he offered him another cup.

They didn’t talk. The quiet was soothing and calming Naruto as the men sipped at their tea quietly. Finally Kakashi stood up and gathered the cups, carrying the tray pack to the kitchen. Iruka looked at Naruto, waiting for him to say something. Naruto looked back and shrugged. What could he say?

“When are you going?” Kakashi said as he walked back and sat next to Iruka again. Naruto’s eyes widened slightly and then he smiled sheepishly.
“You know me frighteningly well.”
Kakashi chuckled softly.
“I’m leaving today.” Naruto finally answered and looked down to the floor where his forehead protector was now laying.

“But I’m not going to meet them alone.” He continued as his voice changed colder. Iruka frowned and Kakashi leaned against the back of the sofa.
“I figured that, it’s time for you to do this, you’ve been waiting for too long.” The masked ninja sighed. “How are you going to find him?”
“He’ll be easier to find than Itachi, that’s for sure. When I get close enough, I can-“ Naruto blushed lightly and bowed his head down, looking at them from under his blond hair “I can sense him.”
“Then you know where to start looking.” Kakashi nodded seriously.

Iruka looked sad and slowly stood up.
“I better make you some lunch to take with you, it’s going to be a long trip.” He disappeared into the kitchen, leaving the two men discreetly alone. Kakashi looked at Naruto.
“You okay?”
“No. Not really. But I can’t really help it.”

“If you need anything-.”
“Thanks. I know I can count on you.”
Naruto stood up, grabbing his forehead protector and trotted to the guest-bedroom to pack his little belongings. Kakashi followed close behind.

Naruto tossed his clothes into a backpack and pulled a green ninja vest over his orange t-shirt. He wouldn’t wear his jacket because he would be running most of the way. All he needed was some money and a change of clothes and those were packed already. He turned to face Kakashi.
“What will I tell Tsunade?”
“She knows what I want from her. You don’t have to tell her.” Naruto answered, smiling softly as he took his backpack.

Iruka showed up at the hall as he was putting on his shoes. He looked worried as he handed Naruto some packed lunch. Soon he nudged Kakashi’s neck. The other ninja pulled him closer, sensing his worry and sadness. “I don’t feel good letting you go alone.”
“I’m the only one who can do this. I’m sure about that. And I- I want to go.” Naruto answered, turning to them. He tossed his backpack on and gave a quick hug to both of the men, opening the door.

“Wait!” Iruka yelled suddenly and ran into the house. Kakashi looked surprised and shrugged as Naruto stopped. They heard Iruka rummaging around for a long while and then he re-appeared back, holding a little bundle on his hand. He handed it to Naruto.
“You’ll need this.” He said, smiling nervously. Naruto opened the bundle of cloth, finding Sasuke’s scratched forehead protector from inside.

“You kept this?” He asked with wide eyes. Iruka smiled sheepishly. “We knew you would one day want it again, no matter how painful the memories about it are for you.”
Naruto’s eyes were bright with tears. He hugged Iruka tightly again, whispering a muffled thank you.

“When we come back, he will be wearing this.” He grinned brightly trough his tears as he finally stepped out from the door.

~*~*~

 

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CHAPTER 2

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